Unpopular Opinion: 7 Sexiest Videogame Characters

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There’s nothing better in the world than seeing a sexy heroine going against impossible odds to save the world. These women can save the entire galaxy and they look good doing it. So what if the game designers created them to look ultra-sexy? It’s a business damn it, and sex sells!

While this is true, it’s not like we can’t treat these women with some respect every now and then. Just because they look sexy doesn’t mean you get the right to talk about how you would completely ruin them with your love making ability. (An ability we here at Galaxy Next Door feel you may be lying about.)

Nonetheless, we give you the list of the 7 Sexiest Video Game Characters (And Why They’re Tired of Being Harassed By You).

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7- Ada Wong-Resident Evil Series

Corporate espionage and fending off the undead are in no way a simple thing to do, but Ada Wong makes it look so easy. A side character in Capcom’s Resident Evil 2, she saves Leon S. Kennedy multiple times before meeting her “end”. (Spoiler: She doesn’t really die.) It doesn’t end there, as Ada continues to return to the franchise, often helping out a confused Leon.

While her looks would make you think that she would be the one looking for help, she’s often completely aware of what’s going on around her and doesn’t need the help of some rookie cop to get through her problems. If anything, it’s the rookie cop that is keeping her from completing her tasks at hand.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, you jerk. While Ada may look and dress sexy, that doesn’t give you the right to stare at her ass or make some sexist remark about her ability to handle a gun. (And yes, we know that’s code for your penis, you misogynist pig.) Ada has defied death more than you have and she doesn’t need to be lowered to your standard because you think she’s hot. Also, if she wanted to, she could kill you.

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6- Lara Croft-Tomb Raider Series

Dubbed the female version of Indiana Jones by gamers when she first hit the scene, Lara Croft found almost immediate fame after Tomb Raider was released. However, it wasn’t exactly for her bravery in the face danger. No, most fans magnetized to the character due to the size of her breasts, not something uncommon in gaming (or any other media for that matter). While her adventures took her across the globe, it seemed like the marketing team for Core Design just wanted to remind everyone that Lara looked good in tight clothes.

It’s a shame that Lara was immediately turned into a sexual object so soon after her game was released, because her original design was meant to be more empowering towards women. Of course after the development team saw what the character would look like if the dimensions of her breasts were increased by 150 percent, her fate was sealed. While Lara is still an intelligent and adventurous archaeologist, she will forever be pigeonholed as just another sexual object for men.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, you fool. While Lara Croft has spent the majority of her time in gaming portrayed as a sex symbol, she is much more than that. Her games were cutting edge at the time and helped show off what the Playstation could do. When you think about it, her existence is close to that of a tragedy: She became famous mostly for her looks, and when she began to grow too old in a market that is constantly looking for the newest sex kitten, she was discarded by her old fans in lieu of the newest well-endowed heroine.

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5- Chun-Li-Street Fighter Series

Chun-Li is the first woman to ever be playable in a fighting game. She’s broken down barriers that, while today may seem like nothing, were a big deal in the early 90s. Imagine a landscape where every videogame was ruled by men and suddenly one of the biggest and most important videogames of all time introduces a woman who could kick you so hard you’d be running to mama.

Back in the day guys would use Chun-Li as almost a joke. “I bet I could beat you with a girl!” What they didn’t know is that Chun-Li could take care of herself and feared no man. While her qipao is a bit revealing, she uses it as a way to honor her Chinese heritage, plus I’m sure it caught a lot of fighters off guard the first time they saw her.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, you idiot. Chun-Li entered the Street Fighter tournament to avenge the death of her father who met his end at the hands of M. Bison (Vega in Japan). Her training with Interpol has prepared her for any threat that may come her way, so does she really need another smart ass kid talking about how much they love her thighs? Yes, they’re awesome, but that’s not what defines her as an individual. Also, if she wanted to, she could kill you.

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4- Tifa Lockhart-Final Fantasy VII

How many of you can say that they helped stop an evil major corporation from destroying the planet? Tifa, in an effort to save to save her hometown, Nibelheim, joined AVALANCHE to stop the evil mega corporation, Shinra. If it weren’t for her Cloud would still be a pouty amnesiac mercenary who’s lying about his past. She brings out the best in people and always has an optimistic attitude, even if Gaia is on the brink of destruction.

Tifa is a skilled martial artist and on the battlefield and she’s not afraid to get up close and use all of her strength against her foes. Off the battlefield she’s a caring person who tries her hardest to help any friend in need. She’s a tad bit shy, but only because it’s difficult for her to project her feelings without stumbling all over them.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, you dumb ass. Listen, Tifa is well endowed, we understand that. She wears a mini skirt to battle, a bit odd, yeah. However, she’s not just some sexy character to be fantasized about on a lonely evening. Even if she was named the pinup girl of the cyber generation by the New York Times, that doesn’t mean you get to stare at her digitized breasts all day. Tifa is a strong individual who just so happens to also be attractive. You can admire what she looks like on the outside, but you’ll be missing out on who she is on the inside.

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3- Cortana-Halo Series

Master Chief (John-117) is a pretty admirable guy. He saves the universe, stops aliens and weird parasites from killing us all, and can even go through the Earth’s atmosphere and land on his feet. Everyone loves Master Chief! But where would he be without Cortana? Dead. The answer is dead. No matter how much praise is showered on Master Chief for his heroism, in the end it was Cortana telling him where to go and what to do.

Created using a flash cloned copy of her creator’s brain, Dr. Catherine Elizabeth Halsey, Cortana is the only AI out of 20 to survive. Being sentient, she was allowed to choose her carrier and found Master Chief to be the most compatible after watching him become the formidable Spartan that we know today. She is passionately loyal to Master Chief and would even sacrifice herself if need be.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, what’s wrong with you? First let’s just get this out of the way, Cortana is an AI. She is not even a physical being. Yes, she is modeled after a younger version of her creator, but why not fantasize about Dr. Halsey? Is it because Halsey is old now? Cortana seems like she was created not to be your typical sexualized heroine, but somewhere down the line it seems like the fans just began to sexualize her, probably because she was the only thing in the game that resembled a woman.

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2- Kasumi-Dead or Alive Series

Kasumi is as beautiful as she is deadly. (Could you have asked for a more cliché opening?) Second in line to the title of leader in her ninja clan, Kasumi has been trained all her life to be a formidable ninja. She joins the Dead or Alive World Combat Championship to get revenge on her uncle, Radiou, for nearly killing her brother, Hayate.

It’s important to note that she is singled out as the main character of the Dead or Alive series. While most fighting games usually single out some muscle-bound male fighter as the main character, Kasumi completely turns that stereotype around. Not since Chun-Li did a woman have such an affect on the fighting game world. Finally, a woman was in charge of the show.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No, damn it! Listen, I know it’s kind of difficult to stand up for Kasumi, considering some of the things she has been a part of. While she comes from a game that introduced bouncing breast physics into gaming, and the Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball game was not created with the idea of female empowerment in mind, she’s still a strong character who fights for what she believes in. And please, stop writing erotic fan fiction that has her getting it on with Ayane. They’re cousins!

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1- Samus Aran-Metroid Series

While female empowerment has always been lacking in videogames, especially in the early days, there was always one gem in gaming that stood out, Samus Aran. Most gamers who played Metroid when it first came out were shocked to realize at the end of the game that the bad ass space bounty hunter they were playing as was actually a woman the entire time. While most female Nintendo characters of that era were stereotypical princesses who needed to be saved, Samus stood out as the hero of her own adventure. She was on her own and didn’t need someone to come to her aid.

Samus’ adventures often require her to go exploring strange frontiers on her own. The sense of loneliness and isolation is ever present on her journeys and is one of the things that the Metroid series is known for.

It’s important to note that while the twist at the end of Metroid may not seem like much in hindsight; it definitely broke the mold for the way women could be represented in videogames. If not for Samus, women like Chun-Li, Terra Branford (Final Fantasy VI), and Jade (Beyond Good & Evil) would have had a much harder time seeing light in the videogame industry.

But I can still ogle her, right?:
No! Have you learned nothing from this article? Samus has survived multiple attempts on her life since she was young! She was orphaned as a child and was raised by an ancient alien race called the Chozo who trained her to become one of the most feared warriors in the galaxy! Yes, she’s attractive. Yes, the Zero Suit is very tight fitting. Yet, she’s more than that. She’s a complex character who suffers with bouts of post traumatic stress disorder because of the difficult life she has lived! Can’t you respect her long enough to see that she isn’t some sexual figure created to be gawked at and instead is one of the defining moments of videogame history?

She’s also super bad ass.

*If you didn’t know, this whole thing is satire. 

image By: Alejandro (Alex)

  1. yunizilla-reblogs reblogged this from galaxynextdoor and added:
    Wooooo, the first one is the best :3
  2. martianspyder reblogged this from galaxynextdoor
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  5. stupidsmartkids said: Puerile? Looks like a certain grumpy pants didn’t actually read the article!
  6. stupidsmartkids reblogged this from galaxynextdoor and added:
    Look what I wrote! Don’t write it off just because of the title. Really read it.
  7. neon-orangex reblogged this from galaxynextdoor
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  14. this-extra-life said: This shit is puerile.
  15. galaxynextdoor posted this
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